Two years have gone by since my last entry. Here I am again trying to write from my desk at home ─ saying hi to the new year 2017 and good bye to 2016 which I had been unable to write a single word. It was in the month of January last year that I came home, here in San Diego. For the whole year, I had been trying to readjust as a freelancer and rearrange everything about my life. I do miss this blog. I wasn't tired of blogging but I had been writing here and there, except here. So, "what's up?" to myself.
It's winter again. Honestly, humanly speaking I dislike it. Right now I'm having cold and sore throat and it's so uncomfortable to do things around. I'm supposed to arrange some songs and sing for a compact disk compilation. With this condition, I just have to be patient with myself and the weather. I just have to do something else instead of lying down on my bed. I'm actually battling with something else.
Being perfectionist often leads me to being impatient and procrastinate. Though I know the solution ─ which I think is to have the time and space all for myself. They aren't always available and it takes time to get them achieved. Living with other family members, doesn't give me much of the time and space I need. There are always things needed to get done in the house for the family to live comfortably. When comes to do my real works, I find myself exhausted and having little time to complete them. Again being perfectionist prompts me to delay and look for the right time which may never come. Once I started to do something on the music, writing or a work of art, it's hard to stop. Any interruption will ruin everything. It makes me question, does it really matter to finish something?
It takes me the whole year to rearrange everything for the time and space I need to be able to do my work. At other times I find myself preparing for some church activities which I'm thankful for. They make me aware that I'm not just for myself and those close to me. Besides I have been blessed with new friends and getting to know more people. I'm also feeling extremely blessed to have Ivan around again. He's a God-sent buddy who is always there for me.
Having written my thoughts here today after a long silence, I feel quite relieved. It may be a sign that I'm beginning to have that specific time and space which I call my own. I'm progressing in years and to be able to have that kind of freedom is something great. It's always nice to be able to sit and write.