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Wednesday, May 4, 2022

A Tribute to a Brother In-Law


Eddmon Oswald (1970 - 2022)

(Explained in the context of my faith)

I woke up around 5a.m  (USA central time) on Sunday, March 27, 2022. It was sort of peculiar for me to see rows of miscalls on my phone and those were from my mom and others from my Whatsapp family group. My natural tendency was of course to call her back in haste. While my mom was on the other side of the phone, she asked me in a very calm tone if I had known it already — her tone made me even more nervous and I kept asking “What is it? What is it? “ …  “Eddmon.” My mom said. “Why? Why? What about him?” I began to shake and was at the same time feeling a little dizzy from waking up. “He’s gone.” She explained very briefly.

I didn’t ask yet when or how it happened. My emotion burst out with deep cries from my heart and flowing tears from my eyes. How could it be the brother in-law that I knew — soft-spoken and of little words, diligent and firm in action, gifted and talented in many ways, very loving father and husband — for 21 years as a brother in-law, I never had any trouble with — and now he’s gone just like that, without a farewell word, not even a gesture. Then, in my tears, I gazed on the faces of the little ones he left behind. My mind tried to digest the situation and I believe because of my spiritual endeavor, my heart became  nonjudgmental.

My mom stayed silent until I could speak.

Those miscalls I saw was made on Sunday, March 27, 2022, around 2:24 a.m. (USA Central Time) while in Malaysia it was around 3:24 p.m. on the same day. How did it happen?

As narrated by my sister:

Everyone seemed waking up earlier than usual on that particular Sunday morning on March 27, 2022. My sister was supposed to go to work overtime in her office but somehow decided not to. Eddmon also had his day off on that day in which he usually had to go to work. Since it was still early and everyone was awake, my sister asked everyone if they could get ready for the 8:00 a.m. live-stream celebration of Holy Mass held by St. Francis Xavier’s Catholic Church of the Diocese of Keningau in Sabah.

They finished participating in the Holy Mass at around 9:00 a.m. which then followed by breakfast. As my sister had mentioned occasionally that she needed help to clean up the backyard — grasses needed cutting and flower pots needed to be rearranged — Eddmon decided to do that on that day and so both of them spent sometime in the backyard.  In between, they went in and out of the house while chatting over things and trivial matters. It was an easy going Sunday for both of them — for being able to spend some time together doing something for the house.

By around 2:00 p.m. both of them had returned to the dining area in the kitchen. By then Eddmon had already washed his face. Both of them were already seated by the dining table. My sister was still chatting with him but wasn’t directly looking at him while preparing a drink. All of a sudden, Eddmon’s hand knocked on a glass cup and it fell on the floor and was broken to pieces. My sister thinking that he did it purposely thought that he was probably mad, uttered “why did you knock the glass?”

She saw in an instant that he was about to fall from the chair. She immediately caught him. He fell in her arms, breathed briefly and turned unconscious. My sister was shaken and in between tears and calling out his name she invoked the name of Jesus and Mary. She shouted for help, calling and asking her fourteen year old daughter to bring a scapular and the Holy Water. She put the scapular around his neck and wiped him with the Holy Water. She asked her daughter to hold her dad tight who was seated unconscious on the chair. Crying nervously she immediately held him tight while my sister rushed to the neighbour next door asking for help. But the neighbour was in the shower and my sister could only tell his little child to let him know. My sister went back and forth checking on Eddmon in her daughter’s embrace, while calling her in-laws and family members and getting some papers ready for the hospital.

My sister’s sister in-law had called the hospital and an ambulance was on its way. By then, her brother in-law and the neighbour came into the house, went right away to the kitchen dining area where Eddmon was, held tight by his daughter. They took him and laid him in the living room. The neighbour attempted a CPR on him but he didn't respond. When the ambulance arrived, a nurse and an attendant rushed in and did the checking and CPR procedures on him. Things weren't well and he had to be sent to the hospital right away. So, they took him into the ambulance, in full sight of the six and twelve year old little ones at home. My sister went into the ambulance with them. Could anyone imagine how she was coping with the situation ... . The medical personnels kept trying to save him, they way they knew how.

As soon as they arrived at the hospital, they rushed him to the ER. Few moments later the doctor came out and told my sister that they had tried their best but things weren’t good. He was pronounced gone. They believed he had gone while he was still at home. The doctor asked her to start calling on family members. He allowed her to go and see Eddmon's body laid in the room. My sister went and was there alone. His face had been covered. My sister opened the cover and looked at his face. She said his face was calm as if he was sleeping. Sobbing and praying she kissed his head several times. She wiped his face with her hands while mentioning things about their family and the children. She did whatever she could. She told him that Jesus loved him more. She couldn’t tell for how long had she been sobbing there. She said it was such a special and precious moment granted to her for the last time to be with him. Later on, her brother in-law came and joined in the final moment before the hospital took his body away.

At that particular moment in the hospital, the clock showed that it was around 3:00 p.m. My sister prayed the Divine Mercy prayer alone. I recalled at that particular hour as I was told by my mom that she was praying the Divine Mercy prayer with my other sister and brother at home. It was in the middle of their prayer that they received a call about his passing away. In their shocks they said the prayer even harder for his soul.

Eddmon’s body was brought to the hospital mortuary.  That was the last gaze of my sister of him. Everything went so fast within an hour.

My sister received the medical check-up result that Eddmon had been Covid negative. However the second result which took three days to process in Kota Kinabalu was found to be positive. 

Flashing back on January 26, 2022, the Covid third dose or booster had been scheduled to be held at Eddmon's workplace. Everyone at his work was obliged to get it and so was he. The day of his passing marks exactly two months after he received the Covid booster. On that day our family members accepted with profound sadness that the viewing of his body was not allowed.

According to Eddmon’s friends, he observed the SOP very carefully. He always wore his mask and stayed clean while at work.  My sister also explained that he was careful with his food.  She had never seen him really sick but just having some fatigue as a result of working overtime — getting out of the house around 4:30 a.m. and coming back home around 8:00 p.m.

The youngest daughter is only six years old. Her reaction was unimaginable.

She told a little child while shopping with my sister at a toy store, “That’s my mummy. My daddy is not here. My daddy is in heaven.”

Family members and other attendees gathered at the Beaufort Hospital around  9a.m. for prayer and blessing by the parish priest. After the prayer at around 11a.m., they proceeded to Punson Village, Kinarut with adherence to the Covid SOP. Eddmon was laid to rest in our village in Punson, Kinarut, Sabah, on March 31, 2022, next to my dad's.

Eddmon had been a musician (a guitarist and keyboard player) for almost three decades, playing both for the local Church and mainstream functions. He also made covers of spiritual songs as a hobby. Just before his passing, he managed to finish arranging music for four songs composed by my sister and her twin. Just recently in 2022, he made his last cover of the Malay song ‘Ku Mau Cinta Yesus’ which means 'I Want to Love Jesus'.




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